ALL IS TRUE (HENRY VIII)

Act 1 Scene 3

(Enter the Lord Chamberlain and Lord Sands)
l1l	Lord Chamberlain	 Is ’t possible the spells of France should juggle
l2l		Men into such strange mysteries?
	Sands	New customs,
l3l		Though they be never so ridiculous—
l4l		Nay, let ’em be unmanly—yet are followed.
l5l	Lord Chamberlain	As far as I see, all the good our English
l6l		Have got by the late voyage is but merely
l7l		A fit or two o’ th’ face. But they are shrewd ones,
l8l		For when they hold ’em you would swear directly
l9l		Their very noses had been counsellors
l10l		To Pepin or Clotharius, they keep state so.
l11l	Sands	They have all new legs, and lame ones# one would take it,
l12l		That never see ’em pace before, the spavin
l13l		Or spring-halt reigned among ’em.
	Lord Chamberlain	Death, my lord,
l14l		Their clothes are after such a pagan cut to ’t
l15l		That sure they’ve worn out Christendom.
		(Enter Sir Thomas Lovell)
		 How now—
l16l		What news, Sir Thomas Lovell?
	Lovell	Faith, my lord,
l17l		I hear of none but the new proclamation
l18l		That’s clapped upon the court gate.
	Lord Chamberlain	What is ’t for?
l19l	Lovell	The reformation of our travelled gallants
l20l		That fill the court with quarrels, talk, and tailors.
l21l	Lord Chamberlain	I’m glad ’tis there. Now I would pray our “messieurs”
l22l		To think an English courtier may be wise
l23l		And never see the Louvre.
	Lovell	They must either,
l24l		For so run the conditions, leave those remnants
l25l		Of fool and feather that they got in France,
l26l		With all their honourable points of ignorance
l27l		Pertaining thereunto—as fights and fireworks,
l28l		Abusing better men than they can be
l29l		Out of a foreign wisdom, renouncing clean
l30l		The faith they have in tennis and tall stockings,
l31l		Short blistered breeches, and those types of travel—
l32l		And understand again like honest men,
l33l		Or pack to their old playfellows. There, I take it,
l34l		They may, cum privilegio, “oui” away
l35l		The lag end of their lewdness and be laughed at.
l36l	Sands	’Tis time to give ’em physic, their diseases
l37l		Are grown so catching.
	Lord Chamberlain	What a loss our ladies
l38l		Will have of these trim vanities!
	Lovell	Ay, marry,
l39l		There will be woe indeed, lords. The sly whoresons
l40l		Have got a speeding trick to lay down ladies.
l41l		A French song and a fiddle has no fellow.
l42l	Sands	The devil fiddle ’em! I am glad they are going,
l43l		For sure there’s no converting of ’em. Now
l44l		An honest country lord, as I am, beaten
l45l		A long time out of play, may bring his plainsong
l46l		And have an hour of hearing, and, by ’r Lady,
l47l		Held current music, too.
	Lord Chamberlain	Well said, Lord Sands.
l48l		Your colt’s tooth is not cast yet?
	Sands	No, my lord,
l49l		Nor shall not while I have a stump.
	Lord Chamberlain	
		(to Lovell)
		 Sir Thomas,
l50l		Whither were you a-going?
	Lovell	To the Cardinal’s.
l51l		Your lordship is a guest too.
	Lord Chamberlain	O, ’tis true.
l52l		This night he makes a supper, and a great one,
l53l		To many lords and ladies. There will be
l54l		The beauty of this kingdom, I’ll assure you.
l55l	Lovell	That churchman bears a bounteous mind indeed,
l56l		A hand as fruitful as the land that feeds us.
l57l		His dews fall everywhere.
	Lord Chamberlain	No doubt he’s noble.
l58l		He had a black mouth that said other of him.
l59l	Sands	He may, my lord# he’s wherewithal. In him
l60l		Sparing would show a worse sin than ill doctrine.
l61l		Men of his way should be most liberal.
l62l		They are set here for examples.
	Lord Chamberlain	True, they are so,
l63l		But few now give so great ones. My barge stays.
l64l		Your lordship shall along.
		(To Lovell)
		 Come, good Sir Thomas,
l65l		We shall be late else, which I would not be,
l66l		For I was spoke to, with Sir Henry Guildford,
l67l		This night to be comptrollers.
	Sands	I am your lordship’s.
		( 67B Exeunt)